And I thought isn't that interesting, that's what I would have said a few years ago too.
At other points in my life I would have said things like my relationships, feeling like I don't have enough time to get things done, money, and that's just to name a few.
My response to my client was that work was something out there, and that actually, the stress she felt was not the thing that was out there but more so her reaction to what she thought was out there, her reaction to how she felt about what was out there.
It was her perception of work and the thinking that her perception created, which in turn created the feelings of stress in her body. This made the experience real for her.
The Oxford English Dictionary definition for stress in the context we're talking about is this:
'a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances'.
I would re-write that definition as this:
'a state of mental, emotional & physical strain or tension resulting from seemingly adverse or demanding circumstances'.
Two different people with two completely different ways of looking at the world, will experience the same circumstances and one will find them adverse or demanding, while the other will not.
I think this is extremely important to understand.
When on a journey to getting better, feeling better and staying better, with the ultimate aim of of being in control of how you feel on a moment to moment basis, it will benefit you to have a deep understanding of what perception, thoughts, feelings and stress really are and how they work.
Whenever we think something, consciously or unconsciously, our brain fires off a lightening storm of electrical charges that in a split second journey down into the body so we can have a physical experience of what's been thought.
This will happen for us automatically and that is actually a good thing. When we think it's time to go to the bathroom, that thought in a split second brings into play the automated process of walking that we programmed in from childhood, and before you know it, we are in the bathroom. What a great system, imagine if you had to consciously think it through! "OK, so I need to go to the bathroom, so I gotta walk there, how do I do that again? Oh yeah, I gotta tense these muscles and then put this foot in front of the other" and so on. We've forgotten but once upon a time that's what we had to do.
Same with driving a car, at first we had to think it through consciously, after some years, we can hardly remember the drive it was so automatic, almost like we were in a trance.
And I'm going to suggest to you that the same amazing system that works, is coming into play with our problems too, an automated mind body response has been created and practiced and therefore programmed into our sub conscious mind.
So what am I trying to say here???
Our perception (our view of the world, our point of view) is created by our experiences, our proof, our history, our memories, our how too's & our feelings & emotions. All this is held in our mind, some consciously and most unconsciously.
Our thoughts get created based on what's held in the mind, our perception, and as each thought is fired off, the signals are sent into the body so we can experience them, feel them.
The body expresses what the mind holds, the body feels what the mind expresses, that's the thoughts being sent to the body so you can have an experience of them, whether it be good or bad.
Stress is that feeling in the body. Stress is the body's reaction to what is being thought.
You can try this now, think of a good memory, step into the memory, be you again, see what you saw, hear what you heard, feel what you felt. You can feel it in your body right?
Now think of a bad memory, step into it, be you again, see what you saw, hear what you heard, feel what you felt. I'll bet you can feel that in your body too right?
OK, go back to the good memory, I'll leave you with that one.
So yes, learn to control your thoughts deliberately and you will feel better, and the better you get at directing your thoughts in ways that produce good feelings, the happier you will be.
Once you know how, a little bit of good old fashioned practice, fueled by a healthy amount of persistence.
The best and easiest way I've found is to clean up what you hold about yourself and the world inside of your subconscious mind. Clean up the automated programs, keep the good ones, change the bad ones to be good ones.
Easier said than done I hear some of you say. Well, yes, once upon a time, it was easier said than done, but not any longer. It is becoming more and more commonly understood that you have more power than you've ever realised. You can clean up your perception of self and of the world and it is easier than you might originally think. You just need to want to feel better and be willing to learn how. And that's where I come in.
Stay tuned to further posts and videos and contact me if you want a one on one.